The top 5 marketing complaints that make me want to throw a brick at you.

Sometimes I think that I have a blog just so I have a place to say all the things I wish I could say to potential clients, but can’t. This is one of those posts.

As I write this, I am trying really hard to stay away from using the word ‘whiners’ – crap, I already failed.

Everybody whines.

Small business people whine more than everybody else.

Yeah, I totally just said that. Calm down. I’m about to explain, so you can tell that whiny little inner voice to stop whining about the fact that I just called you a whiner.

Small business people love to complain. We are like the old people of the business world. We sit around talking about our latest surgery {marketing failure}, friends that died {failed partnerships}, and how we just don’t understand what the point of the Internet really is {and how we just don’t understand what the point of Facebook/Twitter/LinkedIn/Digg/Blogging/Reddit/Wordpress/eJunkie/eNewsletters/eMagazines/iPads/Whatever-else-you-don’t-understand – really is}.

Instead of doing something about it, we whine about how hard it all is, and how we miss how simple business used to be.

Yes, I know I am making broad generalizations here. There are LOTS of successful people that don’t behave this way. For the sake of this post we are pretending they don’t exist. I think we can all agree that confident, secure, successful business people are in the minority.

I still have no fucking idea how most of the stuff on the internet works, but I’m learning. I generally don’t whine about the same things most people do. I whine about other things… like how much it pisses me off that people still use the word ‘sick’ to describe that which is decidedly not, uh… sick.

I also like to complain about complaining.

Top 5 marketing complaints about what people complain about most:

1. I don’t understand/have the skills. Can you do it for me? ……for free?

I do a lot for free. I teach clients how to use the new software I help them set up. I write a (hopefully) useful blog that offers you a nice little chunk of my brainpower. I give away a lot. But, in a world of, “I got these shoes for eleven cents on eBay,” value has gotten a little lost. People ask me to do things for them all the time that I generally charge for. No, I will not edit your book for free just because you want me to and you’re broke. And yes, people do ask for this. See, people like me, that make a living off of something we enjoy doing, can often be put in a tough position. People assume that because we like what we do, we are also willing to do it for free, because, after all, it’s fun for us, right? Wrong. Making a living off of your creativity and brainpower is really difficult sometimes, and it requires downtime to recharge the batteries. If I edited your book in my off time, it wouldn’t be off time, would it?

2. _____________ is hard, so I’m going to tell everyone I meet that it’s stupid and my business is just fine without it.

Usually that blank spot is filled with something social media related, but it doesn’t really matter. I’m sure that thirty years ago people whined about how pointless answering machines were. Sticking your head in the sand and hoping that things go back to the way they were when you actually understood how everything works is the dumbest strategy anyone can ever employ.

3. “It’s the economy.”

Fuck you. Enough already. If I hear that goddamn phrase one more time, {insert empty threat here}.

4. I don’t know what I want, but I know that’s not it.

Seriously? Why do people expect consultants/writers/coaches/designers/etc… to be mind readers? If you don’t know exactly what you want, that’s fine, but help me help you get there. When I ask you questions, answer them honestly. I can’t do my job well unless you invest in the process with me. You are not paying me to think for you, you are paying me to interpret what you’re thinking, but to do that, you have to DO the thinking.

5. I am incapable of taking criticism.

If you’re reading this chances are, you are a solopreneur. It’s a tough gig. We work alone, our friends and families totally don’t get what we do for a living, and we have no one to validate our passing thoughts and musings. I get it. I’m right there with you. That said, I don’t understand why so many of us have such a difficult time dealing with real constructive input. Those close to me know that if you ask for my opinion, you’re going to get it. Likewise, when I ask my boyfriend if I look fat in something, I want the real answer. I don’t want to leave the house looking like crap. Same goes for your business. If you are overly sensitive or you ignore any and all criticism, you are, essentially, leaving the house looking like crap. Your business has a muffin top and you are too emotionally fragile to allow anyone to tell you that you need to buy a longer freaking shirt.

The point is, you didn’t hire me to validate you (actually, you probably did, I’m pretending you didn’t). If you are going to ask for free stuff, ignore my advice, and blame your failures on everything under the sun, then you might as well have just lit match to a big pile of money.

YOU are responsible for learning and growing and changing with the times.

YOU can learn new things, and you CAN get over your hangups.

Being an entrepreneur is not for everyone. Only the strong survive. It is not my job to hold your hand and tell you that you’re doing fine, and that we’ll get there together (though there are some amazing coaches out there that can do this… may they be sainted one day for putting up with that for their whole career).

My job is to tell you what’s holding you up, point the way to a clearer path, give you the tools you need to get there, teach you how to use them, and send you on your merry way.

Related Posts:

• Crap I Hate Doing: Goals. Goal-setting is lame.
• Change or die.
• Using launch powers for good {a sort-of case study}.