Getting an MBA was not a big strategic choice for me. I was bored with my life and hated my career – so I figured, what the hell?!? An MBA is always useful, right?

I was sort-of right.

It does open doors occasionally. And it does seem to impress people that either live, or grew up under rocks {everyone else knows that you can’t throw a iPhone in a major city without leaving a significant welt on the forehead of an MBA}.

Getting my MBA was a pivotal experience in my life. I learned a lot. But the question is, did I learn enough?

See, MBAs like to talk a lot about ROI – Return On Investment.

Was my MBA worth the $90k I spent on it?

You tell me.

These are the twenty-nine things I learned from getting my MBA that I actually use now:

1. Never spend $90k on any one thing. Ever. You will wish you had that money later, or will be tethered to the debt for way longer than you will be happy about.

2. Hire an accountant.

3. Hire a second accountant to make sure your accountant isn’t stealing from you.

4. Fancy executives are totally making it up as they go along. Never let yourself be intimidated by anyone in a tie ever again. They go through their day thinking, “God I hope no one realizes I’m full of crap today,” too.

5. It’s lonely at the top. If you want to talk to someone at the top of the food chain, just ask. They will probably say yes. The trick is, you can’t want anything from them besides a conversation.

6. It’s an unfortunate truth that our peers secretly love it when we fail. It makes them feel better about themselves.

7. Most people that you think make a lot of money probably either, a. Don’t, or b. They spend so much of it looking like they have a lot of money, that they no longer do. And the truth is, it doesn’t matter anyway.

8. If you think that saying that you want to change the world is enough, you’re wrong.

9. Business plans are pointless exercises in mental masturbation. If you aren’t trying to get money from someone, don’t bother.

10. Most business rules are now bullshit. Thank you Internet!

11. Never underestimate anyone. Ever. People are capable of so much more than you think they are.

12. There is about a million times more information available on the Internet than you currently use it for, and every single stick of info I learned from an MBA is all there – for FREE.

13. Don’t start a business unless you either: a. LOVE what you do and can’t imagine doing anything else. Or, b. LOVE money and don’t really care about much else. You have to have one or the other or you will fail (or you should start a non-profit).

14. Find out what your limits are before you start a business. After will be WAY too late.

15. You will need four times as much money as you think you do.

16. It will take four times longer than you think it will.

17. If you want to be an entrepreneur, at some point everyone you love will think you’re crazy.

18. Protecting a great idea is really not all that important, unless you are curing baldness or cancer – most random people you meet are not going to drop what they’re doing to start copying what you’re doing – they are busy doing their thing.

19. Fail. A LOT. It’s good for you.

20. You are nowhere near as smart as you think you are, but you are twice as capable of learning new things as you ever thought you were.

21. Research is overrated. If one person gives you one answer that feels right, nine times out of ten, you will come up with the same conclusion after digging deeper and wasting a ton of time. Trust your gut.

22. If it seems way too good to be true, it probably is. BUT, if it seems like it might be too good to be true… it also might be an amazing opportunity.

23. Take risks. Regularly. Get good at it.

24. Don’t be afraid of concise information. Find a trusted source and listen. Length does not imply validity, value, or quality.

25. Look for people to learn from. They are not always in the places you think they should be.

26. Ask for what you need, or you won’t get it.

27. Promote people you respect. No one else.

28. Read. A. Lot.

29. Remove the word ‘afford’ from your vocabulary. There is always more money to be gotten.

***And one bonus: Never let ‘em see you sweat. I wish I could say that once you own a business, you get to be yourself, flaws and all. But, until you have a pile of money to go with your big idea, suck it up. As far as anyone around you knows, everything is going great – at all times.

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